The Reason
by foreverPheobeCole
Summary: Songfic. Everytime I hear this song, I think of Pheobe and Cole. It's really good. please read it.


Disclaimer- I don't own Charmed, the characters, or the song 'the reason'  
  
I had to write this. Every time I hear this song, I think of Cole and Pheobe. Am I the only one?. If you really listen to the words you will notice it too.  
  
Now to begin my first songfic.  
  
Please review  
  
The Reason  
  
He stepped outside on this warm, summer night. Cole knew what he had to do. It was the best for everyone. It hurt him so much just to think about it, but he knew that this is what she wanted. He got in his car and proceeded to drive to her house thinking of what he would say to her, what he could say to her. This isn't what he thought would happen to them. He thought that they would last forever. He was wrong. Who could blame her for not wanting him in her life. He had hurt her so many times before.  
  
I'm not a perfect person  
  
There are many things I wish I didn't do  
  
But I continue learning  
  
I never meant to do those things to you  
  
He arrived at her house and just sat in the car. He knew if he got out it would mark the first step to his new life, a life that didn't include the love of his life. He didn't want this new life to start, he would have nothing to live for, but after a few minutes, he got up the courage to step out of the car. He had to do this.  
  
"If I love her, I must do this," he told himself.  
  
As he walked up the steps, he thought about how much he had hurt her. He had tried to kill her and her family so many times before. He knew she could never trust him. He just hoped that she would allow him to explain why he was here instead of slamming the door in his face, yet again. Even if it was what he deserved. He forced his hand to knock on the door even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. It would mean the end of being with her. No more wonderful nights with her, seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. After this he would be out of her life for good. The pain of knowing this was piercing his heart, but he pressed the doorbell anyway.  
  
And so I have to say before I go  
  
That I just want you to know  
  
He was hoping that Pheobe would be the one to open the door. If it was one of her sisters, he would have no chance of getting passed the threshold. Luckily it was her, though. As she opened the door the smile that wore melted into a frown as she saw him standing there.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she yelled.  
  
She was about to slam the door in his face, but he stopped her with his foot.  
  
"Please, Pheobe. We need to talk," Cole begged, pain in his voice.  
  
Usually Pheobe would have never let him in, but she could feel the pain and misery coming from him and as bad as she didn't want to admit it, she still wanted him to be safe, even after all they had been through. She didn't say anything for a moment trying to read him with her empathic ability. She could feel something very wrong. He was hurting so much.  
  
"Pheobe, please," he begged again. "Just talk to me, please. It's all I ask," he said to her.  
  
Pheobe's head kept telling her to throw him out after all he had done to her, but her heart just wouldn't let her do that. She opened the door and ushered him in.  
  
"If you try anything, I will kill you," she said coldly.  
  
"Thank you so much," Cole said as he walked in.  
  
"What do you want?" she asked.  
  
"I came here to tell you that you don't have to worry about me ruining your life anymore. I'm leaving. I'm going to New York, so you can get on with your life," Cole said looking at the floor.  
  
He couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes. He knew if he did that he would break down.  
Pheobe was shocked by this news. For the last six months he had been determined to get her back, no matter the cost. Now all of a sudden he was leaving and she would be free from him forever. She was joyous and grateful, but a little part of her didn't want him to go. She didn't understand why, but that part of her wouldn't stop nagging at her to stop him, to make him stay. She knew it was the best thing, with Piper pregnant and about to give birth, they could feel a lot safer if Cole wasn't there trying to win Pheobe back, but that little voice continued to tell her to stop him.  
She thought about when they first met, him, a district attorney assigned to a case that happened to involve Pheobe and her sisters. She thought about when she found out that he was a demon. She had known he was this horrible thing, but she let him live anyway. If she would've vanquished him at that moment none of this would have happened, none of the pain. Then she thought about all the good memories she had of them together. Laying in on a lazy Sunday morning holding each other, having picnics in the park, making love to him in the bed they shared and she knew that she was glad she met him even if it had ended like this.  
Cole thought about what he had been like before he had met Pheobe, one of the most powerful demons ever to exist, a great force of evil, an assassin for the Source, and a cold-blooded killer. She had changed that, gave him a chance at a semi-normal life, gave him a reason to live. She had awoken something inside of him that he hadn't known existed, his humanity, his ability to love. He would thank her every day for that. She had saved him from his own worst enemy. Himself.  
  
I found a reason for me  
  
To change who I used to be  
  
A reason to start over new  
  
And the reason is you  
  
Neither one of them had spoken in the last few minutes, both were sitting, thinking about their relationship. Cole was the first to speak .  
  
"I'm leaving," he said clearing his throat to make the tears stop coming.  
  
He looked up at her and she saw his eyes, his perfect blues eyes, filled with tears. He tried to hide the fact that he had been crying, but she could tell that he had. He walked up to her.  
  
"Is it alright if I hug you?" he asked.  
  
This would be the last time he would ever see her, he needed to feel her touch, just one more time, to hold her in his arms, just for a few moments. If he was lucky, he would have enough memories of them to help him survive without her. She hesitated for a moment and then agreed after she felt that he was being genuine and just wanted one last hug before he was gone forever. He wrapped his arms around her and held her, taking in her scent, the way she looked. He wanted to remember this moment, to have it engraved into his memory, so he could have it for the long, cold nights in New York that he would spend alone.  
Pheobe found herself returning the embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest. They stood like this for what seemed like hours to Cole, really it had only been a few minutes, but for him it would last forever.  
  
I'm sorry that I hurt you  
  
It's something I must live with everyday  
  
And all the pain I put you through  
  
I wish that I could take it all away  
  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
  
That's why I need you to hear  
  
They let each other go and Cole made his way to the door, Pheobe right behind him. She opened the door for him and he walked out, his head bent down. He was going to start a new life. He would have a new identity, a chance to change everything, all of the mistakes that he made. Most people would love to have that chance, but Cole wasn't one of them. He would gladly suffer through anything that fate threw his way just for another moment with Pheobe. He knew that this couldn't happen though. Before he started to walk away, he turned around to face her, his love, his soul mate. She looked at him and a single tear fell. Cole put his hands on her face and with his thumb, he wiped away her tear.  
"Pheobe, please, don't cry. You wanted this to happen. I'm giving you what you want. Don't ever cry over me. I'm not worth the tears," her told her.  
"I want you to know that I will always love you and I want to thank you. Thank you for changing my life. Before I met you I was a horrible creature. You saved he and taught me how to love. I owe you everything and you owe me nothing. Please get on with your life. I want you to be happy. I want you to have children with someone you love. You'll me a great mother one day. I figured out that this was meant to be. I am only an innocent, nothing more. You were sent to me, I believe, to save me from myself. Now you are free of me, free to do whatever you choose. I will not stand in your way again. I am so sorry for the pain I've caused. I know I don't even deserve to ask, but one day, I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me," Cole told her  
  
He bent down and kissed her lightly on the lips. She pulled him closer and they shared a long, passionate kiss. Cole was surprised by this. He was certain that she hated him. Now at least he would have this last kiss to remember his love by. He let her go and proceeded to walk down the stairs. At the bottom, he turned around.  
"I will always love you. I want you to have a great life. Goodbye," he told her, tears streaming down his face. Pheobe knew that this was the last time she would see him, she could feel it. She knew that he wanted what was best for her and that he was never going to come back. She felt the tears stinging her eyes and she just let them fall.  
  
I found a reason for me  
  
to change who I used to be  
  
a reason to start over new  
  
And the reason is you  
  
She took one last look at Cole, the love of her life, and then he walked to his car, opened the door, got in, and drove away, out of her life. FOREVER.  
  
Tear even this one choked me up. So did you like it. Please review it or email me and tell me what you thought. I really want to know. Please review. 


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